in silence

in silence

milk bubbles dance over bright orange shreds of carrots
with one hand i balance saanjh on my hips
and with the other stir the condensing mixture.
we stand there like that for few more minutes,
she, watching on curiously and i, stirring.
we repeat this often in between doing other things
sweeping, changing sheets, sunning achaars,
bathing saanjh and cutting her nails.
after three hours, it's lunch time and gajar ka halwa is ready.
we sit down to eat and saanjh asks for a story.
i create a new one. of a mermaid and a little girl.
the story continues as we take a brief stroll around the house after lunch.
then it's nap time. a little laughter, a little persistence and saanjh's asleep.
i call mayur and remember to attend mails
once done, i sit down by myself after a full morning.
and watch sunlight growing on the balcony floor.
these days, i'm without words.
silence eclipses me like sunlight on the floor.
everything inside remains unspoken, simmering.
sometimes it's relieving to forget words, to lose them
and immerse yourself in doing things silently.

in time, saanjh will wake and there will be stories to tell and things to do
until then, i have a burning lamp and
a bottle of flowers on the windowsill
to sit with, in silence.

. . .

thursday afternoon
the twelfth
pauṣa